I've noticed that a lot of people consider 'finding yourself' to be a really frivolous and unproductive study. I'm not sure why. Everything important in life really seems to get down-played so children can be encouraged to join the rat race and make as much money as possible, instead of being told that they should be happy first.
~Sanjay Singh
***
Happy day everyone.
I have a busy day ahead...tons of coaching clients booked...and a new work on the easel. My two boys...I swear, I don't know if it's just that they are so close in age or if it's just that stage in their lives, but they can not go more than ten minutes at any given time without fighting about something...or in their case...nothing at all.
O.M.G!
I want to knock their heads together most of the time these days.
Boys!
I shaved the dog this weekend...I don't have the money for a groomer for Mr. Wiggles...so I thought... what the heck... I could do it.
Two hours and 17 pounds of hair...later...
my dog is now so embarrassed he won't go for his walks and keeps looking at himself in the mirror asking us if his ass really looks that big, and is this what having mange looks like?
What a baby.
In three weeks that haircut will be perfect.
The cat won't stop laughing at him.
Well, it's that wonderful time in the morning when we wake the shaved apes (my boys) and strong arm them into clothes that are clean, feed them, pack their lunches and keep them from beating each other up till I can send them to school...
I am off to face the day.
I do have new art to share, and will do that tomorow. It's just been one of those weeks when I a feel like I am running up a going down escalator.
oils Painting extends around sides of canvas, no frame needed.
This is a work in progress.
***
Good Wednesday!
This is my newest large artwork that I have been slaving over for the last few days.
Before I start blathering on about it, here are the two quotes for this work. (it's a big work, it needed more words before it would shape up and fly right):
***
Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us.
Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender. Henri Frederic Amiel (1821 - 1881)
***
Everything is on its way to becoming something else, and therefore, nothing can be held onto. If you see this clearly, if you consider and examine this deeply and fully, then letting go is the only thing left to do. How can you hold on? What is there to hold onto? So the art of spiritual surrender is really the art of not knowing. Then it doesn't make any difference at all whether you are walking down the street or eating lunch or responding to your email or making love or sitting alone on your couch. This is the first and last time you will ever be doing this. If you truly understand that, it changes everything. Scott Morrison
***
So, I am not done with this work yet, I am still waiting on it to dry some more so I can finish out the details. 'Surrender' is an act of submitting to my own self. Not submitting to the world, authority, society or religions. Allowing myself to just be, and continue to become. I surrender my resistance to my own eternal flow. I am what I am, I am what I think, I am what I am becoming, I am what I believe I am.
I am an artist.
No formal training? Yup no formal training.
Can you still be an artist of International caliber if you don't know what the hell you are doing?
Yup, it seems you can.
Or at least I can, and not even think twice about it.
If I had known going into the art world what I know now ten years later, I would have still gone in head first anyway.
Rules don't apply to me unless I say so.
(You know what I mean, I don't eat babies or run stop lights)
I was encouraged at the beginning by professionals (galleries) that I hit up just months into being an artist, to treat this as a hobby.
To not think I was going to make it, because truth be told, most artists don't.
It would be a one in a million shot for someone with my background (or lack there of) to become a income producing artist.
At the time, I poo-pooed them and said that doesn't apply to me,
I am a one in a million person. I make things happen.
I was wrong.
They were right, for a time.
You can't be a realist unless you believe in miracles.
If you don't believe in your dreams, who else is going too?
I just stuck out my neck (and my families income earning potential, Mate Man fully agreed to do what needed to be done to cover the family) and kept on going.
I surrendered to my own inner directive.
I have always been an artist.
That isn't going to change.
This January marks my tenth year as a full time, self-representing artist.
I have learned so much, and failed more than I care to remember.
I have also found my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Surrender is homage to that small choice I made to risk it all and let myself become what I was born to be. No one can twist that up, tie it knots and take it away from me. I am art.
I surrender to my creative insanity.
Ah-Ho!
Let it be.
Let the art flow!
***
What in your internal life do you need to surrender to?
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***
Here is the quote I was reading while doing the work:
The term ideal, herein is not used in the sense of an abstract, unattainable perfection; but rather it means a worthy goal that has promise of attainment through appropriate efforts. The gap between where you are and where you desire to be creates a mental and emotional conflict, "a holy discontent" - often called stress in today's world. Normally the first response to stress is to mentally and emotionally run over the outward indications of the conflict - anger, fear, disappointment, resentment, embarrassment, or other such negative feelings. In doing this one's mind is trying to fill the gap between his expectation of what he desires and what actually exists. Loyd J. Ericson
***
This was my first work completed after a long dry spell last year. I remember how good it felt to just be at the easel again, and that I really am an artist...what else would I do? I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like if I was Not living up to my own inner potential. I am an artist, it's what I do.
Oils on canvas with finished sides (No frame needed)
Painting is done is deep, rich jewel tones, the background is rich yellows,vibrant reds and warm violets. The figure is done in violet, burnt reds, and medium yellows.
*****************
Here is the quote that inspired the work:
Wherever you stand is holy ground.
Wherever there is life, the ground is holy, and life is everywhere.
The question is, are you in it?
While money can lead you to feel rich, feeling rich can lead you to money.
While you may be very careful about what you pay for with your money, you are probably less careful about what you pay for with your attention.
How you spend your attention affects your life far more profoundly than how you spend your money.
Your attention is the strongest currency at your disposal.
While you may believe that all kinds of things have to happen before you can have what you want, you can have it quickly by recognizing you deserve it.
Who would most like to know you love them today?
Who would you be if you dropped your complaints?
Whoever you think you are is smaller than who you really are.
Why get rich quick when you can be rich now?
Why live in a soap opera when you can star in a great love story?
Why mess up your career with training?
Why wait for your ship to come in when you are already on it?
With but a shift in perception, what you thought was miles or lifetimes away may be but feet and moments away or right in your arms.
Words are the least part of communication; energy and action speak far more truly.
You do not need to import greatness from another; you just need to act on your own.
You already know.
You always have enough energy to do the things you love.
You always have enough time to do the things that Spirit would have you do.
You are doing better than you think you are.
You are in integrity when the life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside.
You are lovable not for what you do.
You are lovable for who you are.
You are not desperate, so don't act as if you are.
You believe that if you had more time, you would have more peace.
But it's the other way around: if you had more peace, you would have more time. Creating more time is not logistical, but attitudinal.
You can tell what you believe by what you get.
You can afford to be generous because you have access to an unlimited supply. You can be helping many people, but if you are not helping yourself, you have missed the one person you were born to heal.
You can never love too much.
True loving only multiplies itself and returns to bless us many times over.
You can tell what you believe by what you are getting.
You can't get a right brain answer to a left brain question.
Ask your heart, not your mind.
You can't get to heaven by putting other people through hell.
You can't prepare to be great, because you already are.
You can't worry love.
You cannot achieve perfection.
You can only discover it.
You cannot fix yourself because you are not broken.
The more you try to fix, the more you find to fix.
Only wholeness heals.
You cannot gain worth by achievement.
You can only claim it by self-recognition.
You choose, you cruise.
You deserve only love because you are only love.
You do not need to gain or import powers,
for you were born with infinite power to create.
You simply need to claim and use the power you already own.
You don't always need to know beforehand.
You don't have to make anything happen.
Just line up with what wants to happen and let it.
You don't have to make someone else wrong for you to be right.
You don't need to beg for what you already deserve.
You don't need to get anyone else to agree with your truth.
You just need to live it.
You don't need to make good things happen.
You just need to let good things happen.
You don't need to punish yourself for love.
Or sex.
Or money.
Or your past.
Or anything.
You have more options than you recognize.
You know where you belong.
You need not wrestle for your good.
Your good flows to you most easily when you are relaxed, open, and trusting.
You only live once but it's forever.
You own what you own not by money or force, but by your love for it and your inner connection to it.
You were born a genius, and you still are.
Claim it and it will work wonders for you and the world.
You were born to enjoy your life, not repair it.
You will be paid for your services in proportion to the depth of your passion to offer them.
You will find truth more quickly through delight than gravity.
Let out a little more string on your kite.
You will help more people through your delight than through your suffering.
You will not get rid of your pain by glamorizing it.
You will not solve lack by getting more.
You will solve lack by recognizing abundance where you once saw lack.
You're not a realist unless you believe in miracles.
Your attention is the strongest currency at your disposal.
Whatever you invest it in will yield significant returns.
Your core being is your pure being.
Your entire world could open up with one expansive thought.
Your fears of oblivion are unfounded.
Your first and greatest contribution to world peace is your own.
Your future isn't what it used to be.
Your gift to the world is not what you do.
Your gift is your happiness.
Your history is not your destiny.
Your inability to adapt is not a sign of your weakness, but the strength of your inner guidance to remind you where your passion lives.
Your issues do not retard forward movement; they propel it.
Your journey of relationship is an adventure to reunite with yourself.
Your thoughts do not create reality, but they do create your experience.
Your thoughts do not create reality.
They either permit it or not.
Your true power lives in acting with a whole heart. ***
While working on this painting, I was going to change the mouth, and my kid came into the studio and said,
"Mom he looks like he is saying his prayers or something..." Hence the name and the mouth staying the same, because I think so too.
I was going to give him two eyes to, but it seemed more right for him to have only one visible eye, the other is in shadow, the eyes being the doorway to the soul. I wonder myself what is behind his eyes, what he can see that I can not, or will not.
He is whispering to the heavens, to the Gods of love... prayers for the living. This is the Theme Song for BAD! Kitty Art Studio until further notice:
I hope you like! I have stared more new work already, I'll share more soon! Have a great day Heather http://www.badkittyartstudio.com/ What's that? You want to buy him or another of my works?!
Well...just email me and I'll take care of you ASAP!
but rather, ”I have found a truth.” Say not, ” I have found the path of the soul.”
Say rather, ” I have met the soul walking upon my path.” For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals. Khalil Gibran
***
Good Friday to you all.
These are my two newest works and the beginning of my newest series.
I've discovered that exploring what I find fun to do/paint is so much freaking fun. It's probably illegal to have this much fun while you work, some where.
Don't tell anyone, it'll be our secret.
The First one, 'Dizzy' is just me having fun with my two favorite colors and looking for light in the form of tone on tone. This is how I start many a work with just fun flowing colors, the difference being that I wanted to go some where else with this first work. I had big plans for the layers of image I was going to lay on top. Funny thing happened, I was looking high and low around my mess of an over crowded studio, and I could not find my little bag of leaves. I looked everywhere!
Literally until I felt dizzy.
So I was steamed, and on the knives edge of fit throwing when I dropped my brush and it hit the canvas, unexpectedly.
I was instantly taken out of my state of mind, my current perception of the moment, and transfixed by the accident.
I got the message pretty clear.
Bloom where you are planted.
Do with what is at hand, it is enough.
Make it work, block head.
Ta-Da!
Enlightenment.
And a new series was born.
Simple, and left up to the viewers perception and current state of reality.
*Mile wide grins*
The second one was playing around with a different set of colors and values and also the last two clean brushes in my (enormous) stack of (now all dirty) brushes. Big stiff round tipped things...scrubbers is what I call em.
I used the exact same technique, but with a different tool and palette and Bida-Bang-Bida-Boom... A new perception, a new level, a new layer.
(Ogres are like onions, and Hell no, I don't like parfait!)
I really am having a bunch of fun.
I wonder what this will turn into?
Where will the next layer be?
Will there be images at all?
Who knows!
Wheeee.
The Thrid one is on the easel now...
so, I gues,
We shall see...
Have a great weekend everyone.
I may not be back til Monday, we have a few things to take care of, and I have a new show to put together for an opening that's happening soon.
This work has real leaves and the imprints of those leaves,
it makes it hard to tell what is real and what is an impression...
This work has tiny round mirrors to catch your image in,
shadows of fast moving water in the winter,
puddles played in on cloudy spring days and
the golden bronze colored memories of youth. (and of summertime, when it's hot!)
***
Here is the quote that inspired the work:
My house says to me, "do not leave me, for here dwells your past." And the road says to me, "Come and follow me, for I am your future." And I say to both my house and the road, "I have no past, nor have I a future. If I stay here, there is a going in my staying; and if I go there is a staying in my going. Only love and death change all things."
This is me at three years old, on a picnic table in Clearwater Florida.
***
It is not always by plugging away at a difficulty and sticking to it that one overcomes it; often it is by working on the one next to it. Some things and some people have to be approached obliquely, at an angle. Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)
***
Hi there, how ya doing?
Me...well, I am a little scattered. Inside my head I have many levels of work going on. Most of the time it feels fine to be doing that, thinking on multiple levels at once. Today is not one of those days. I don't have racing thoughts or anything, just a gentle pressure at the base of my skull...I'm thinking to myself, what the hell is that?
"It's not a tumor."
***
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and to have one hell of a good time. Sometimes, this makes planning the day difficult. E. B. White (1899 - 1985)
***
I need to write something. I have come to learn, this blog...it can sometimes be a lifeline. Just knocking on the door and saying Hey! I'm out here...can you hear me now?
The artwork seems to be slowing down. I really do work myself into apathetic corners and sleepless nights. It's not manic, I just seem to have more than my head can hold, and it makes it hard to not get it down, up and out.
***
It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen. George Orwell (1903 - 1950) Source: 1984, 1948, opening line
***
To be honest this whole really cold weather thing...it's getting me down. I've never lived this cold in winter, not as an adult anyway, I'm more of a Pacific or Atlantic breezeway kinda gal. I saw the Ohio river the other day for the first time, I can't tell you how wonderful it was just to see a large body of water again! I may be a little homesick for the coast right now. (just this much). OK, so this is my second winter season here in the bluegrass and my bones don't like it. I hurt from tip top to the bottom. How can a persons scalp ache, I don't know but I have it, a terrible scalp ache. Every bone sings it's own song when you have arthritis, and I am creaking and popping over here like an old wood stove, except I can't seem to get warm.
Ever.
I am right now wearing two pairs of pants, three shirts, a sweatshirt, and thick wool socks...oh and my thermal jesters cap, and a scarf and shoes too. Is this sounding crazy enough yet?
Just checking.
I don't like the cold, nope not at all.
***
A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results. Ella Wilcox (1850 - 1919)
***
I keep thinking I'm going to adjust to the new environment,
but no such luck so far.
I have started (with Mate Mans Help) to write a farking g*d damned cold song. I think it could be a hit maker in the works. Oh, no there goes the potty mouth.
Were in for it now.
***
The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community. William James (1842 - 1910)
***
I better get back to the easel. I really want to finish this new large work, if I can just talk my body into a think warm thoughts mindset, it'll be all good.
I have never, ever done a painting with the color pink. This is my very first pink painting. How exciting is that?
I don't like the color pink, I mean I won't wear it and I don't want everything to be colored pink, just because I am a girl.
I am a GRRRRRL.
We don't do pink.
Now that I can do landscapes (slayed that dragon), I thought to myself...what else have you Not done yet? Using the color pink is one of those things...and by that I mean using pink as the predominant color.
This is a bright, fun, flirty pink...this I like.
We three is about my mind, body, spirit connectionand how that connection effects my work.
The real truth is I don't ever really have a "set in stone" plan for my work...I just pick some colors, have a vague idea of what I want and then go to it.
I don't spend a lot of time thinking it all through, that way when there is trouble...I'm not upset by it, it's just another challenge. Get on with it.
Sometimes it doesn't work out well.
That's life baby.
Sometimes I am left with a feeling of relief when a work is complete, like Whew! am I glad that's out of my head. And still other times, like with this work...I just let go and see what happens and I am just simply pleased at the end. A hard days work done well. I feel lighter, I feel
Well, that's the BAD! Kitty Art Studio art auctions for the week!
I hope everyone had a nice weekend, we did.
It's been very cold for this warm weather artist (I am so not used to this), but I am still keeping up in studio and have several new works to show this week.
The kids are home from school and we plan to just kick it after I get done with my coaching clients this morning.
I wanted to have something meaningful planned today to do and show the kids what this holiday is all about, but they beat me to it.
We had this really long talk about equality.
It was great, the boys were explaining to me about what civil rights means and what MLK did for the nation. I let them tell me what they have been taught in school...then I started talking about how civil rights are about every ones freedom in this country, not just people of color. They were like...WAH, Really!?
Really, really.
Yup, civil rights are about every single one of us. The right to speak, vote, pray, marry, love and be happy. Those are the rights of all human beings...we didn't need anyone to tell us that. I was telling them that what I think MLK was talking/teaching us about was freedom from the human condition of suffering. I mean people of color are suffering, and the rest of the people in the world are suffering too. He was talking about the healing power of freeing yourself from hate in all it's forms, self hate, bigotry, fear of the unknown or different, and really bad (or taught) judgements that we make about the humans we share the planet with.
I mean really...we all bleed, breath, love, play, hate, worry, give birth, learn, and die. So what does the covering we wear (skin, religion, sexual orientation) have to do with being a human being?
A big fat nothing, that's what.
Who you are should be what's valuable, not where you live, what you wear, how much money do you have; or the color of your skin or the gender you love. We are all equal in the creators eye...so why not just go with love out into the world...and put the rest of that baggage behind ourselves.
It was great to be able to talk to the boys about how this family sees the world...the youngest ended the conversation with:
"Mom, people are just people then...some are good and some choose to be bad, it's all about learning how to do that then. [tell the good from the bad and choose for yourself which you want to be yourself] It has nothing to do with the color of skin, money, what God they pray too or who they may love, right?"
"Yup, that's it son, that's the ticket. Every Human has the right to live free."
"OK, can I have a cookie?"
"yup, you sure can, thanks for talking with me you two."
Oldest son in the house: "Oh, your welcome Mom, we just want you to be as smart as we are, you know your old and not going to school anymore, so we want to help you be your best."
The blue of her robe is much deeper and has darker shading than these pictures allow for (Prussian blues and deep purples). The background and hair are well represented in tone, the hair is Prussian green, Ivory blacks and ultramarine blues as well.
There are also shadows of deep plum under her hair (on the robe) that are being washed out in this lighting.This painting looks foggy. It is supposed to look that way, she is in the world in between...between what we know and what we struggle to understand. Hence she is in and out of the fog that surrounds her.
***
'The Key' #6 in the Choir Series
18" x 24"
oils
Painting extends around sides of canvas, no frame needed.
PS. A big Thanks to Cynthia who was my muse for this work. Her recent series of unfortunate events made me think of this subject again. So, thanks for the inspiration Cynthia...I hope you found your keys!
It is what you think it, what you make of it, and what you desire it to be. Therefore...working towards one definition is a futile process for me as an individual.
I want to explore and learn and fail.
That's what makes me feel alive.
I used to think it was some kind of failure inside myself that I could not just pick one thing to loose myself in.
Not one subject matter has been able to hold my passions forever.
The discovery of new things is what fuels the journey I am on as an artist and a human.
I am saying I want to create my own world and I no longer believe that is pie-in-the-sky thinking.
Maybe I can do it all and that will be my personal style...to not have one at all. Well, that's not true about style,
I have a style that is all my own...I understand that I am always going to do things my own way.
Hmmmm, I wonder what I will think of this tomorrow?
International buyers and outside the US buyers please email me HERE for a free shipping quote.
*** Batting a Thousand: The Words that inspired it:
Life is described in one of four ways: a journey,
a battle,
a pilgrimage,
or a race. Select your own metaphors, but the necessity of finishing is all the same. For if life is a journey, it must be completed. If life is a battle, it must be finished. If life is a pilgrimage, it must be concluded. And if life is a race, it must be won.
~Unknown *** The Fairy World Series has been an exploration of my unique brand of Woman. Growing up, I experienced the extremes of the 1970's stereotypical behavior: both of the genders were represented clearly to my little-grrrl self. I learned to fight, to fear the adults of the world, and to loath my biggest birth defect, being born female. I wanted to play war, and I fought regularly, boys mostly.
I hated the color pink, which was spoon-fed in every petite little girl bite I took. In long hair and dresses, I went about my life trying to make sense of what it was to be a girl in this world. Seeking balance, seeking my inner truth, coming to grips with the body that was at once, object/commodity, weapon/tool, and all the time weak/powerful, and shameful/virtuous.
Learning how to play the roles with gusto, I have traveled 38 years in a body that has not always felt like my own; a rental that is a little short in the legs and itchy in all the spots that are just out of reach.
Fairy World allowed me to marry the warrior, and the type, or brand, of woman that I am. I love my grrrl-ness now, a beautiful, complex and scary uniqueness that defies definitions and allows ultimate flexibility. The female form is inherently preprogrammed into us to bring forth many emotions from every human being on the planet. I am one such human, and this is what I see/feel about also being classified as Female Human.
My fairies are not average beauties; they represent the different aspects of my new breed of human being; complex beings.
We are all creator and destroyer, we all also have a terminal illness; it's called birth. I am proud to be this complicated being commonly known as Woman, privately known as my tiny, infinite universe. This life is full of potential, pain and change.
Choice is like mathematical equations;
never ending numbers spiraling into the void,
life is choice; choose wisely and often.
Welcome to my world.
Fairy World. *** I have a no questions asked 7 day return policy. If you don't like it, let me know and then wrap it back up, and send it back, I'll refund you the sale price, minus the shipping charges. No problems, no hassles, no waiting. I also offer to get you an exact shipping quote, to anywhere for free. Just send me an email with your zip code (or country and code) and I'll get a quote for shipping to you within 24-36 hours (depending on the day/time you ask for it.)
Just ask, I add no extra costs to ship,
just exact shipping charges. *** I hope you enjoyed, please consider supporting living artists; if not me then one that resonates with you. Heather www.badkittyartstudio.com
As I search for meaning in my humble life I have fallen into several pits that threaten to trap me in a tar like form of living.
The biggest Beast by far is my own Ego.
Meditation on the subject of how to have
Less Suffering and Torment
in my everyday living has led me to come to understand the important role that Ego plays in the discomfort of living at 100%.
If I am truly giving 100+% to my life and work, then I must learn to push aside the Ego.
Creating room inside my soul for the beauty of success and failure.
I must create a space where judgement and fear do not live. I must make room for my true self; make room for the lightness of being.
That is what this work is about.
Making room for the beauty of living a whole life with a whole heart.
This is a work of manifestation; of the life I am leading and the life I am leaving behind.
Here is the quote that inspired the work,
***
"If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up."
~Deepak Chopra
***
This work is done in five colors: Ivory black, french ultramarine, titanium white, Payne's gray and brilliant turquoise. I look forward to releasing this emotion and lesson into the world.
