Monday, April 24, 2006

BAD! Kitty Art Studio ~ Portland Oregon ~ Artist Blog ~Quote for the day

Quote for the day
A tragedy is the imitation of an action that is serious
and also, as having magnitude,
complete in itself . . . With incidents arousing
pity and fear, wherewith to
accomplish its catharsis of such emotions.
Tragedy, we wake up with our personal tragedy's everyday.
We battle ourselves to make it better, or we succumb to the pressure of those who are surrounding us.
My oldest left home way too soon.
The Mother Part of me, wants to go find him, drag his narrow ass home, feed him, love him, fix him.
The mature part of myself knows that he
wants this
He wants to be a victim.
He wants to control his world by being
a tragedy of a 16 year old boy.
His skills at emotional manipulation and control
are exceptional, really...You have to give the kid his kudos...
he's determined, hard headed, willful, and
a complete idiot right now.
I have to learn how to relax into this stress.
Relax into the knowing that this is a stage that he passing through,
that I have done a good job at raising him,
even if this is his way of breaking free of that
environmental conditioning.
I am living day to day with my grief, my sorrow,
my lonely for only him, my own needs to know I have not lost him forever.
I can only control myself, my actions not reactions to
circumstances that I have no participation or control
I am Free of my own inner judgment about this.
I want lots of things for him,
I want love that is whole and healthy for me.
I want him whole.
I miss him.
I love him.
I want him back in my life, the hole in my chest is huge with his being Gone..
Until that reality can manifest, I must continue on.
I Must continue.
I can't do anything else, I have no choice but to continue to work,
be accountable,
be impassioned,
be true to me,
and continue to love healthy and strong.
Living with reality today, and translating that into constructive
actions that bring my circle of love
round again.
Yours in the moment today,
and doing something with it.
What are you working on this Monday Morning?

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