Friday, November 10, 2006

End of day report for Friday

BAD! Kitty art Studio
Well, it's the end of a long week...of planning, of plotting, of taking risks.
And we are no closer to our goal...being a family of people who can self-sustain.
I am beginning to wonder about our long term goals, being a family who could take a risk and make it in the long run. Maybe we should have stayed in Oregon, maybe we should not have ventured out into the realm of dreams and fortune. Maybe we should have stayed in the safe, but boring as hell, port of what we knew...following the dream of my art career that has gone flat...maybe we should have stayed and not ventured forth into the unknown...I just don't know.
I hate not knowing, I hate not knowing the answer, I hate the fact that I may have unwittingly put my entire family in jeopardy for a dream...and my Mate Man, my beautiful Man, might have bet on the wrong horse.
I just don't know and that is making me crazy with worry...
and regret is knocking on the door. Bill in hand.
I need some hope.
I just need some hope, simple and plain.
I need a friend, I need a family outside what I have under this roof, I need a gift of faith...I need...and that maybe our undoing in the end...

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