Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Tuesdays thoughts and convictions

BAD! Kitty Art Studio
Quote for the day
***
"The universe is change;
our life is what our thoughts make it."
***
So, today is the day before my birthday. I will be 37 years old tomorrow.
I have come to some conclusions about my current
set of circumstances.
I will not "heal" anymore from the crimes of careless
people and their actions any longer.
I will not waste another day on those who have caused
me pain, been cruel, abandoned my love and friendship,
or taken me for granted. I don't deserve to be carved up into little bits,
any longer, because I choose not to be.
This is my life, no one Else's and I am in charge
of where it goes, and where it will end up.
I will take what I have learned from them (the carvers of the world),
and use that knowledge as fuel,
instead of weight and continue to grow.
I have been a rut of unhappy feelings for about three months.
I fight it everyday, I stand up to myself and ask for more, every single day.
I am no coward.
To regain momentum in my life, I have to
forget about what others think, feel and do.
I have to be more concerned about my own actions in this life,
my rights, my wrongs, my life is my own.
I know all this stuff, logically...but like all humans
I get sidetracked every once in awhile.
I want to have a large group of friends,
I want to have a happy family (I do have that)
I would really love to have extended family,
but they are all dead and gone.
I have not enjoyed my birthday in a few
years, it seems to me that it such a lonely time,
with just the five of us to celebrate, no parties, no friends,
no external life really.
Just this small band of people, under one roof
working hard to become the very best we can be.
Today I can see just how Lucky I really am.
The fog has lifted, and I am ready to embrace this next
step in my personal evolution.
I will take the pain, I will take the abandonment
and use it as fuel.
Nitro charged.
I am not a coward.
I am no shrinking violet.
I will waste not another day
wishing for something I can not at this time have.
I will take what I know, my talents, my fearlessness
and create the life I have dreamed of.
I will get my farm in the soft hills,
I will find and develop friendships with
other humans that are worthy and brave enough
to stand in the fire with me...and laugh at the
flames that will lick every soul
clean from time to time, and I will love them fully.
I will continue to raise wonderful children, and be the ever growing
life mate of a man that has proven himself, over and over again to
be exactly what I need and want,
loyal, honest, supportive and true.
I will get back to my work, my passion,
creating art that is
unlike any one Else's, and full of promise and soul.
I will continue on, with my head up high
and be proud of the risks I have taken thus far in life.
Yes, I failed...so what?
My circumstances are temporary
and not a definition of who I really am.
Today...I am free.
Today I am living in truth, and not just sitting beside it.
Today, I launch myself back into the world,
and create the life that I want to have.
Today I am fully
me.
Can you see me?
I am bright, raw and radiant,
yours in fearlessness,
Heather


1 comment:

Blurr said...

Woot! I can feel your power!

Happy Almost Birthday Heather! All the best to you on this joyous occasion. :

Can't wait to receive your painting...yay yay yay!