Thursday, September 06, 2007

Pain is not a punishment; pleasure is not a reward. ~Chodron







The Simple Solution.


To avoid all pain,


unhappiness


and fear ......


avoid birth.


~Ian Gardner


***


Good Morning (well it's morning for me anyway).


Today I am going to tell you a little story about my day yesterday.


It'll explain why my quote(s) today are about pain...and such


***


I broke my leg - after doing the first four days of A Midsummer's Night Dream - at Big Bear in a toboggan accident where I was almost killed. I was in the front of the toboggan with three big guys in back of me with a lot of inertia of the heavy weight, and my foot slipped off the toboggan, went right in the snow and split me up the middle. If it hadn't broken my femur at the exact time, I would have been killed. . . . While I was recuperating there (Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital) to get back on the set of A Midsummer's Night Dream - they were waiting for me - where I did that entire picture in a plaster of Paris cast covered up by Olivia De Havilland's dress . . . while I'm at the Presbyterian Hospital and I'm recuperating, my wife (Jan) is born on the 6th floor. Now that's a billion-to-one shot.


~Mickey Rooney


***


Yesterday morning I was preparing for my work day (life coaching) and I knew I had a mega ton of clients to talk to. I decided it would be a good idea for me to clean up the studio while I talked to my clients...because multi-tasking is a hobby of mine you see.


My first client of the day calls in and we start our session...I am listening to her, wearing my handy dandy phone head set and blithely straightening up the paint cans (quarts and gallons) in the studio.


It's going to be a hour long session...so I am pacing myself with the cleaning...all the while listening to my client catch me up on her life and problems to overcome.


***


The art finds kingdoms in a foot of ground.




***


As I walk from one end of the studio to the other talking a mile a minute, I started stacking the cans of paint. Then I started in on all the paper shreds and open paint tubes.


I know I live a very glam life, for sure.


I had attached the phone to my pant pocket and the cord to the headset was getting in my way...hanging down and snagging on every little thing...I think it was doing it on purpose...nasty little headset wire that it is.


***


The accident of an accident.




***


As I was moving in complete harmony with my mind working on my clients problems and my body left to it's own accord to do the boring work of cleaning...I mean really who needs the brain engaged fully to clean?


I leaned over the stack of paint cans to grab a particularly mischievous scrap of paper that thought it was running away from the paper bin...my client said something that made the body stop and want to sit down...all I know is that there may have been a brain/body strike at that moment...the body demanding more pay and better working conditions and the brain said it had to call the lawyers to see where it stood on the whole matter...


***


Always cut the cards...and smile when you lose.




***


my client was about ten minutes into her hour at this point. As the body gave up the good fight and spun around to look for the nearest sitting device, the nasty head set cord reached out for no apparent reason and grabbed hold of a particularly charming paint can at the top of the stack. Obviously, while the brain and body were working hard...the cord had fallen in love with an unopened, quart sized can of crackle medium (you can tell the cord has no taste what so ever in quality).


***


Hard work doesn't harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances.


~Unknown


***


The paint can was very upset with the whole snatch and grab of the cord and decided to fall as fast and hard as possible to the floor in an attempt to escape the cords very forward behaviour.


Thank goodness the body had stopped thinking for itself at this point, because it had flopped into the nearest chair to let the brain try to talk it into a lunch date to solve the labor issues and left one of the feet, in just the right place to cushion the fall of the ( really at this point very prudish paint can) paint can.


There was a brief moment, where time stopped and applauded the heroic efforts of the foot in question. Then a urgent Memo was sent to the brain from the foot of the body claiming an on the job injury and demanding quite a lot of money and screaming about lawyers.


The bones in the foot...they had had enough of the really crappy treatment from the the body and decided to break up and look for vacation possibilities in Central America.


***


You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was made from his funny bone. ~
Sir James Matthew Barrie


***


At this point my client had asked an important question and I was thinking of the best possible answer and the can fell on my foot...breaking it in several places.


I never even made an owie sound (which according the brains lawyers is in direct violation to the bodies right as an individual)


and answered the clients question.


40 minutes later when the call ended I took a look at the foot and cursed it loudly. Then gathering ice and ace bandages...I re-set the bones in my foot, and took the next client right on time.


Fast forward eight hours later, all clients had been taken care of for the day, and I went in to the ER, really just looking for some good, legal drugs.


They were fresh out of the good stuff...so I got a cast instead and some really not good for anything extra strength Tylenol. Stingy bastards.


So now I have a broken foot...and no good drugs.


Life is grand I tell you...


life is just freaking peachy.


***


Love to all today...and really watch out for falling paint cans, they are moody and unpredictable...and hell bent on foot hating.


Be aware.


Heather








5 comments:

BlueJude said...

I am so sorry about your foot. Really, I am. But I have to say...you had me smilin' throughout the whole post! {:
And for that I thank you.
And yes they are stingy bastards...damn it all! lol
Try and make due with a Maurguerita and get well soon.

gloria said...

ouch. but what a great tale you spun. feel better soon.

HMBT said...

Hey Blue! Thanks for the get well...I had a fuzzy navel when I got home...all better! :)
Gloria! Thanks for stopping by I appreciate it and thanks for the get well too!

andrea said...

You could use those amulets in your painting! (And I thought you were in Oregon, not Kentucky...)

HMBT said...

Andrea: I just recently moved to KY from OR and my heart will always be a west coast girl!