Friday, January 12, 2007

the Art of letting go

BAD! Kitty Art Studio
(above) Fairy World 'Power'
Oils and mixed Media framed
by: HMBT 2006
***
Regrets...I am thinking about regret and what power it has in my life and what I am going to do about it. I am getting ready for another Solo Gallery show as most of you know, another opening for Fairy World...only this time, it's a whole new showing with new works being created for the big opening. I have been getting the ideas together, organizing the next steps, thinking so hard about what I am doing in the moments of my day, I some times think my eyes will explode.

I awoke this morning thinking...darn it! I wish I still had certain works that have been sold from the West Coast tour of Fairy World last year...what the hell kind of critical thinking is that? I mean the first year of the series, I basically sold out the works, and commissioned two more for private parties. That is success! I have had terrific critical review of the series, and the fact that this very large Gallery has asked me to continue the series is a good thing. I have to admit for the last couple of days I have been a little stymied as to how to "get back" into the Fairy World groove and push some new works out that feel authentic to the series as a whole and to my current state of mind. For the first few days of this week I was bemoaning my sales of the original works, because I have been thinking..."those were really good, how will I create more like that?"
Stinking thinking to be sure.

I caught myself again doing exactly that this morning, and I am stopping it here and now by admitting it and moving the hell on. The series is now into it's 2 year (closer to three really) in development, and it's changing and growing...just like me. I don't want carbon copies of what I have already done, I want to take my current life experiences and translate them into the series.

This is a East Coast show...they need to see who I am today, not what was motivating me over a year ago. ARGH! Come on old girl, get with it. Just acknowledging my yucky thinking has set me free to really begin the work. Freeing myself from regret, and forgiving myself for not being perfect is exactly what I need in the moment. I am now really feeling the creative muse swelling up inside my "let's play and paint something great" mind. I am seeing new works (yes more than one at a time) in my minds eye...Thank the Universe...my thinker is NOT broken after all. It was just a case of bad thinking that had built a wall up and was blocking my view.

For the new works I have to get to stepping on creating I have chosen the above painting that IS left from the original series (I kept her because I love her, and she will be going to the show and be for sale) to keep in the studio, front and center...to remind myself of what I am doing and why. Power...it's not about outer control, it's about inner release and control of myself around and about the people, places and situations I experience. I don't mean straight jackets and chain control... Instead I mean it's the Power to respond to life instead of always reacting to it.

Power...exactly what this BAD! Kitty needs to put the peddle to the metal and burn rubber on my present day experiences; to translate that knowledge into fantastic works to inspire a whole new segment of the Fairy World Series.
I am now ready...
to really begin.
May the world be a wonderful place for you today,
Heather
www.badkittyartstudio.com
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2 comments:

Cynthia said...

I just left a comment on your other blog...and this one seems related. Fear and regret. I have to think that by acknowlegding your regret and the fact that you are growing creatively you will be able to translate this to a new body of work. I know easier said than done.

I'm in a worrying mode myself right now. I remember reading something to the effect of "Don't worry about the past, you can't change it. Don't worry about the future, it hasn't happened yet. Don't worry about the present, because you're in control."

HMBT said...

Sage Advice for the day Cynthia, thank you for your support. I am working on staying in the moment and letting the art tell ME where to go...like you said easier said than done, but it can be done. Where there is a will there is a way! :) So which of your "crayon drawings" did you pick as Your favorite? :)