When you know that you are all that

BAD! Kitty Art Studio
Thoughts for the end of the day...
****
Well... it's the end of a long day, and tail end of a week that
has not felt like it was the best of times.
Mate Man has had a couple of successful interviews, and a couple that were definitely not great. Not because he didn't do well, but more because we are new to town and from a big city where he managed a large staff, in a big city way. Professionalism is something we are having to adjust our expectations of, and it's hard. We are small town people with big city ways, and it seems to be a problem for some people. Well...we can't change the people we are, or the experience we have. It is so hard to make sense of it all. We want more than anything to be small town, but the fact is we have been big city and very successful for a long time, people don't trust us anymore in a small town setting. They want to know why would we come down the ladder? Why would we want to go backwards in time? It's simple really, we are small town people...and we have been out in the big world, lived it... worked it, and have really decided that what we want is a blend of the two. We are just brave and crazy enough to make it work...trust me, if it can be done, we are the type of people to get it done.
Nobody looks like us, nobody talks like us, very few people have had as much experience as we have in the world here. It's making it hard for all of us, being outsiders, and trying to get in good with the locals. I have to say that it's harder on my ego than I thought it would be...much, much harder...I think I need to start a support group.
It's not that we are scary, or weird, we are just like everybody else...but it's different, we don't have our southern accents anymore, and it feels fake to put them on, in fact we don't have any accent at all. We don't look like everybody else, we have piercings and tattoos, and wear leather jackets (really tailored and nice ones to be exact) and I don't wear make-up or fancy girl clothes, and Mate Man dresses for success, in Italian shirts and tailored pants...crap! I look like a dyke here, and he looks like a Mafia Don.
It's just freaking hard.
So how to balance being us, and fitting in?
We don't compromise.
We are who we are.
It's just the way it is.
I don't know how to not be me.
I am a big city girl, who has seen a lot, been a lot of places and to be honest is
just too cool for my own good. We are good people, we are faithfully married, good and involved parents, committed to our community, and involved in world issues.
WTF?!
I know it's crazy...we are not religious, but deeply spiritual, we are moral and almost conservative, but not into any one dogma, we are loving but fierce in our families survival...what should we sacrifice to better fit in?
Nothing.
We are what we are, I am a crazy woman who paints and counsels people all over the world to become their best selves, and Mate Man is a great Father, provider and Mate, who never gives up no matter the obstacles. We are a tight family, and hard core on family values...but that includes every type of love and families of every kind.
I see this as a test, are we strong enough to stand in the fire?
Yes...most defiantly.
Will we make it?
Of course, that's what we do.
So, I guess I just needed to vent...it's been a hard week, and we are looking to improve our lot in life... not complain about it...but damn...give me a break!
So, being true to ourselves is a hard road...but we are road warriors so we will take that challenge, and if that scares you...too bad.
Hope your week has been better than mine, all my love to all of you out there, even if I don't know you from Adam...
Heather
http://www.badkittyartstudio.com/
PS. buy some art...Momma needs some supplies!